My interests and attitude have been all over the place in the last ten years, with the only solid unchanging aspects being my location, Thailand for forty years, and my enduring love for my wife, now approaching twenty years. Hobbies have come and gone along with relationships. There have been many deaths over the years, some closer and more impactful than others. Though I live in Thailand, it does not hold the same place in my life that it might for a new arrival. This is my home and very much like the air I breath, life here is normal for me and something which does not require much thought or analysis. It is beauty, comfort, relaxation and variety which motivate my activities, more than the low cost or cultural novelties noticed by others.
What seems to consume my thoughts more than anything else these days is aging and I am not finding much common ground with others my age. I stopped working twenty years ago, have no children or grandchildren and I have no ex-wives or childhood friendships, unlike many who followed a more traditional path. I am not as fit as I was in my forties but neither am I as feeble as many of the people I encounter who are closer to my age. I just can?t embrace the popular notion that it is okay to be old, fat, ugly, out of shape and out of touch.
Largely I have become much more dependent on my wife?s much younger friends and contacts for the social interaction, which all the literature claims is necessary for successful aging. Clearly, where we chose to settle is not ideal for daily social interaction with expats or Thais but there is no way I would give up the peaceful beauty of my natural surroundings to be closer to the expat community I have encountered here in Chiang Rai. There may be places in the world where I would find relationships more inspiring and positive but I live here, not there.
Recently I have found myself withdrawing from online forums. I am pretty good at deflecting trolls and delivering a controlled message on forums but just being exposed to the negativity takes a toll. I stopped posting on forums at the beginning of the year and have noticed a marked change in my attitude. The world is a troubling place these days and I am finding it difficult to filter out all the hate which permeates the online world. Instead of becoming embroiled in the conflicts of our day and letting it eat away at my happiness, I have chosen a very selfish isolation, surrounded by the beauty of nature and a very select and limited assortment of individuals I call friends.
So how are you dealing with getting older?
For more regular updates and photographs of my life in Thailand please visit my Village Farang FaceBook Page.